Advice on getting back into dating after stoma surgery - GoldCare

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Advice on getting back into dating after stoma surgery

One thing that many people find after having stoma surgery is a lack of confidence, especially when it comes to dating. There is no tried and tested method for dating with after stoma surgery. However, there are some general tips and encouragements that may help ostomates to get back into dating and advice for how to handle the situation.

First up, don’t forget that you’re not the only one who’s going through this situation. Your stoma should not stop you from having an active dating life, even if it does feel like it at the start. Regaining your confidence can take some time after surgery, but with a little patience, it should return.

Here are four tips on dating after stoma surgery:

#1 – Be upfront and open about it

Sure, it can be tempting to hide it for a while and wait until you absolutely have to mention it. But in reality this can seem quite deceitful, you’re much better off being up front with any potential partners beforehand. Also, you don’t want to waste your time if it turns out they’re not

#2 – Be confident about it

Try to maintain a positive attitude about your stoma. The way you speak about it and react to it will directly influence how other people feel about it. If you’re positive and accepting then it’s likely to influence others to be so. If you’re really negative and down about it, then it’s much more likely that potential partners will falso feel that way. You are not defined by your stoma, so don’t act like it!

#3 – Try to maintain some control of dates

If there’s a certain type of food you struggle with our activities that are too strenuous for you then you should really try to avoid them. In many cases, it might even be best for you to suggest the activity of the date to ensure it’s something you’re comfortable with.

#4 – You could try dating other ostomists

Some feel more comfortable dating other ostomates who, of course, tend to be more understanding of what they’re going through. There are even specialised dating websites, such as Ostodate and Meet an Ostomate that cater specifically for this. In addition, you could try attending local support groups and meetings.

The truth is, there is no great secret to dating with a stoma, you are still the same person you always were and deserve everything you did before surgery. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t still be able to find your ideal partner!

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